Why Men Lie.

When I mean lying, I don't only mean lying to other women. Men will lie to each other with impunity about anything and everything under the sun, from the number of women he has slept with and his "alleged" size, to how much he bench presses at the gym.

Let's put the theory on the table. Men love to lie, but they are absolutely horrible at it. Women rarely lie, but when they do, it's a story so good that it could be the basis for 100 episodes of a Spanish soap opera.

You see, men who date have to lie. Part of the reason is that women force men to lie. An attractive woman comes down the street, and a man better say she's ugly and full of cellulite, or face the wrath of the dreaded Gucci handbag on the head.

Your woman put on a few extra pounds, you better say that she's in the best shape of her life, or else buying that handy bottle of hand lotion is as exciting as your love life is going to be for the next few weeks.

But beyond the faults women might have, men don't always have to lie. Yet they do as instinctively as they grab their privates on an hourly basis. Lies just shoot out of men's mouths with the ferocity of a machine gun.

These lies are often at the tip of their tongues, ready for any situation, and often so full of holes that they make Swiss cheese look like a water dam.

...pants on fire

Case in point: a girlfriend of mine came home earlier than usual to find her boyfriend in his underwear, with used condoms on the floor. Before she even had time to ask what was going on, the internal alarm inside of her boyfriend's head had concocted a story and spat it out.

His is a classic. He basically said that he was masturbating and decided to put on a condom so he can have anal sex with himself.

Right.

Beyond the mere physical impossibility of such a disgusting event even happening, why did he even leave the condoms around?

Laziness? Probably -- men are lazier than their Lazy-Boy chairs. More likely though, he figured the effort necessary to lie would be less than getting up from the couch, picking up the used condoms and putting them in the trash.

That's quite a bit of work when all you have to do is say you just became intimately acquainted with your "inner" self.

It's not entirely men's faults. They are raised to lie from the moment they are born. Protect your family and lie about bad things; lie about how you really wanted to cry during Forrest Gump ; lie about your age so you can buy the cheapest wine the 7-11 has to offer.

lying for a living

Is it a coincidence that men hold the majority of jobs that involve lying? Politics, government agencies, courtroom lawyers, plastic surgeons, psychiatrists -- who calls the shots?

Not that all men lie, of course not. But from experience (and 99% of women will back me up on this), the only men who don't lie are those devoted to their religion, gay, or have had their tongue removed.

Source: http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/21_dating_girl.html